Just Don’t Wear That
I haven’t been into jeans lately which made me wonder. Is there a reason I SHOULD be into jeans?
I own four pairs of jeans, one black and three in different shades of blue. My friend Veronika would say that I look like Oliver Twist in the black ones because they’re quite old, more grey than black, and I just don’t want to stop wearing them. The blue ones are in better shape since I have three of those and can frequently change them. However, I haven’t been doing any of that for a while now. Because I’m not that into jeans at this moment in my life. Why? I don’t know. I guess working from home made me want to dress up more when I go out of the house. Jeans just feel too basic at the moment. I also have a newly discovered love for mini skirts which instantly makes me want to wear those instead of anything else.
Yet, I see people in jeans and I want to wear them, too. And I’m not the only one who feels that way. I had a little gathering for freelancers at my house the other night. My friend Martina came in wearing this silk scarf that everyone was drooling over. “Silk scarfs always feel so ladylike but I can’t wear them because I look like a boy scout when I wear them around my neck”, said Tina, a freelance writer with a deep desire to become a scarf lady. Tina is not a scarf lady right now. She might become one in the future. But right now they just don’t feel right for her style. And maybe they never will.
The point is, she’s not wearing them even though she likes them. And I’m not wearing jeans even though I really like them. No one should wear anything that doesn’t feel right. We don’t always know if something will feel right so we buy it anyway and then when we realize it feels bad we dump it somewhere in our closets and forget about it. Hence the expression I have nothing to wear. We accumulate so many items of clothing solely based on the fact we like the idea of a particular item. And yet, once we have it, it just doesn’t feel right. How did this happen to us? Well, it’s what marketing’s been all about for the last 100 years. Making us want things even though they might not suit us. Lifestyle-wise or budget-wise, it doesn’t matter. It’s what social media is about. It’s what online media is about. It’s what print media is about. It’s what the whole fashion industry is about.
Here’s some news - it feels so much better to not fall into that trap. And you’re going to fall into it. I still fall into it repeatedly. But that’s just the process of finding your own style which you’ll know you have found once you reject that thing you really like because it just doesn’t feel right on your body right now. Once we know how our body works with certain pieces of clothing and the meaning attached to them, we become much better at avoiding the trap. A great tool that helps me with that is visualization. I try to imagine myself in a certain piece of clothing I’m thinking of getting. Then I try to visualize how it would work with other pieces of clothing from my closet that I already like and wear a lot. And then I try to picture myself wearing it to a specific event. And even then I might not buy it if I realize I already have something similar in my closet that I’ve forgotten about. So my message to you dear friends is - just don’t wear that. Nobody cares. You’ll die anyway soon. Just wear the thing that feels right. Whatever it is.
Amazing point! By the way, I also rarely wear jeans, but feel fine with that :)